Delays to 'I Don't Bite'

I'd like to share with you an e-mail I sent to the cast of 'I Don't Bite' a couple of days ago - 


Hi guys

I just wanted to apologise to you all for not catching up with you recently, it must have felt a bit like I'd forgotten all about you and that I wasn't doing anything with I Don't Bite at all. I didn't and I was, in fact, a fair bit has happened and it's time I gave you guys an update.

Right, the most important info first. My bother and I have made the really difficult decision to postpone the shoot for 'I Don't Bite'. As you know the plan was to shoot in February 2012, now it looks like it will be closer to November 2012 before cameras roll.

I'll let that sink in for a second

This was not a happy decision for us to make but we have some very good reasons which I'm going to explain to you now. 

The main and overriding decision for the delay in the shoot is that I want 'I Don't Bite' to be the best film it can possibly be and with the time available between now and February, there just isn't time to get done everything that needs to be done to make that possible. I have started the process finding a Director of Photography for the film, a process that is taking significantly longer than I expected. By getting a DoP in, I'm also going to probably need a sound recordist as well. Depending who I get for both, I will need to source some equipment for the shoot. We need locations, we need a van, we need props, we need make-up and special effects, we need to get someone to choreograph the physical stuff, and we need to cast the character of Will the Cameraman because I need to focus on directing. 

Since my daughter has been born I have significantly less free time to devote to this than I did when I shot 'Little Things', something I realised when I shot 'Colleagues' with Richie a couple of weeks ago. 'Colleagues' was a far less ambitious shoot than 'I Don't Bite' will be and yet I still struggled to get everything done. As a result, the first task I am going to look at, is to find a Production Manager. Some one  who can do things like find locations and props and organise all of the things that I don't have time to do. Incidentally if any of you know some one who would want such a task please let me know. Experience is not an issue, I just want some one organised, enthusiastic, reliable and local. 

Something else prompted me to delay. Richie has been cast in Andrew Gale's new film 'Doghead' which is shooting over every weekend in February and March. I have no desire to compete with Andrew for his time, it isn't fair to Andrew, it isn't fair to you guys and it isn't fair to me. I have far too much respect for Andrew and for how difficult the process of making a film is to add a further obstacle to getting everything done, and if either of our schedules change it is not fair to put Richie in the middle.

So why am I postponing so long?

Couple of reasons. First, 'I Don't Bite' mostly takes place in the dark. If you wan the most darkness possible, shoot in the winter. By the end of March the clocks will go forward and the evenings will be light again. The clocks won't go back again until the end of October, therefore the sensible time to postpone until is November. The second reason is that it gives plenty time to get everything done.

The last reason is that, because the production is now significantly bigger than I initially anticipated I am now looking into the possibility of getting some funding rather than the money just coming from mine and Peter's pockets. I'm looking at some crowd funding options like kickstarter, I'm also thinking about selling 'Colleagues' when it is done. Whatever I decide, you guys will be the first to know. Things like crowd sourcing are most effective when you have time to promote the production, that means leaving the timeframe that people have to invest open as long as possible and promoting it with things like video testimonials.

So is that it for now?

Well no not quite.

First up I need to know from you guys if November is going to be convenient. Do you have any other plans or projects in November that I need to know about before I can schedule the shoot. I know it's quite a bit in advance but because of how big the production now is and how many people are likely to be involved, when I get a date it's going to need to be pretty set in stone

Second. Do any of you know some one when would be interested in being production manager. Like I said, the most desirable qualities are enthusiasm, reliability, organised and local. Experience would be nice but is far from essential. 

Third. In the intervening months I may play around with a couple of quick and easy shorts like I did with Richie for 'Colleagues', so I might be sending some of you a a script or two over the coming weeks and months to see if you are interested.

Fourth. If we decide to use something like kickstarter for crowd funding, we'll need to make some sort of promotional video, and for that I'll probably need you guys.

And lastly. Peter and I will be locking the script for 'I Don't Bite' into a near final draft over the next couple of weeks, when that's done I'd like to do another read through with you guys to see how the dialogue sounds out loud. That will help us write the final draft. After that we'll look at starting to rehearse. Peter and I are also in the process of putting together some fake social media sites for the films characters, blogs, twitter feeds, facebook pages and the like. These will hopefully be pretty useful to you to get a bit of background on the characters but when the time comes I'd also like your help promoting these sites.

Guys, I'm really sorry about the delay. I hope that it doesn't mess you around too much. I had to make the decision to either make 'I Don't Bite' quickly or make it right, I hope you agree with the choice I made.

In the meantime, have a great Christmas and I'll talk to you all soon.

Shocker


Did we make the right decision? only time will tell

Colleague is in the Can

Finally shot 'Colleagues' on Saturday. Really pleased with the results so far. Rough cut of the film is done, just need to tidy it up and sort out the audio and it'll be finished. 

Big thanks to Richie and Chris for two excellent performances, to Arun for recording the sound and to Rach for the patience to put up with my time consuming pastime. 

Not sure what to do with it when it's completely done. Was thinking about using it as a fundraiser for 'I Don't Bite', maybe start looking at festivals and competitions again, maybe just stick it up online and carry on to the next one. Don't know. Any thoughts?

DIY Film Making Gear

Well it's been a while. My bloggery-pokery has had to suffer at the hands of everything else, most notably, two scripts I'm working on, 2 shorts currently in production, a day job that eats up nearly all of my time and a 8 month old that eats up the rest. The scripts are two early on to discuss yet, the day job is not very interesting to this audience and as enthralling as it is to me, talking about learning how to crawl, stand and talk is not for this blog

So that leaves the productions. 

First I'll talk about 'I Don't Bite'. I realised early on that 'I Don't BIte' was going to be a significantly more ambitious project than 'Little Things' ever was. Longer script, more locations, low light, special effects. I have on previous occasions talked about biting off more than I can chew with 'Little Things' so with that in mind I have been actively looking for a Director of Photography. I put an ad on film crew pro, explaining that this is a zero budget film and from that I have a shortlist of about 5 candidates all with really impressive showreels. 

And I thought casting was hard.

I'm also looking into funding for 'I Don't Bite'. One of the options is crowd funding. If that's a road I'll go down presumably you'll be hearing a lot more.

Colleagues is due to be shot (finally) a week on Saturday. Because the story is really short and there is only one location, In order to make it more visually interesting. I have made a home made dolly. 

After a lot of trial and error and a deep stanley knife cut on my finger the result is below.

As you can see it's a skateboard. The camera is mounted on a cheap tripod head, which is mounted onto another skateboard wheel for a really smooth panning action, which in turn is mounted onto the leg from a kitchen unit, you can see that a bit better here

I also stuck a drawer handle on it to control the movement.


I also made a boom pole. Boom poles cost about £80. EIGHTY FUCKING QUID! FOR A POLE!!! Alternatively you can spend about £4 on a mic holder, £1.50 on a nut and bolt and £8 on a 2M painters pole, and Voilà 

Hopefully you will see the results of my resourcefulness soon

"Producing a Short Film". Next Week, "Picking up Mercury with Chopsticks"

Last time I posted I was hoping that by now "Colleagues" would be in the can. Not the case I'm afraid. Even thought the shoot only involves myself and three others, finding a day when we are all free for two hours has been unbelievably hard. 


It's a two hour evening shoot. Chris has commitments with Christmas panto rehearsals, Richie works a shift pattern and Arun has paid sound recording gigs that he is fitting 'Colleagues' into.


We've had to reschedule twice and now we are hoping to get the shoot done mid November.


More updates will come, in the meantime if you haven't seen the Broc Glic Productions website, please check it out. It's still a work in progress but I'd love to hear your opinions


Later


Mark

I Have a Number of Projects in Various Stages of Development...

Hey all


Just wanted to inform you all about some casting news that is unlikely to make the headlines on E!. 


For any of you who have perused the new Broc Glic Productions website you may have spotted that in the unfinished section called 'Films' there are three movies listed. First up is Little Things, which if you've read this blog before I hope you've seen. But also two more up and coming films 'Colleagues' and 'I Don't Bite'. Time for an update on both.


First up is 'Colleagues'.


I've been interested for a long time in doing  a really short film. 'Colleagues' will probably be between 1 and 2 minutes long, so 'short' is the operative word. I wrote it about 4 weeks ago it's been cast and will be shot in 2 weeks time. Hopefully I'll have it completely edited and finished by the end of October. And for those of you who have seen 'Little Things' the cast will be reassuringly familiar, so without any further ado  the cast of 'Colleagues' is as follows:

David - Chris Jones
Alan - Richie Nolan












Hopefully you should be able to see 'Colleagues' soon, watch this space. 


'I Don't Bite' is something altogether more ambitious. It will be a twenty minute faux-documentary horror. So night shooting and special effects are on the menu. The cast are - 

Jon - Iago MacGuire

Gary - Richie Nolan

Abbie - Carrie Richardson














There is one more part that is not quite cast yet, more news when I have it. The shoot is likely to be in February with a release of some discription in the summer. We had a read through of the script about 2 weeks ago with the cast and I have to say I'm really excited. More news about both in the near future.


Lastly I have another short script that I'm playing with. A comedy. Don't know where that'll end up yet, myself and the brother think it's piss funny, the missus reckons it's really stupid. Until I figure out who is right I'll keep that one to myself.


Keep tuning in.

Long Overdue Update

Lack of communication does not indicate lack of anything happening, just lack of bloody time to write updates. The eagle eyed among you will have noticed two things, firstly the site has changed. No longer is it a blog solely dedicated to Little Things. As Little Things is now winding down now seems like an ideal time for the blog to become the Broc Glic Productions blog. So now I can talk about some of the other projects that I'm getting off the ground. Secondly. Broc Glic now has a website. Still a work in progress, but you can get to it either by clicking on the Home button at the top of the page or going to www.brocglicproductions.co.uk.


So other than websites what's been happening?


Well first up the script for "I Don't Bite" is just about done. Peter and I have some revisions to make, but those are minor tweaks, the story itself is now pretty set. I've started the process of casting it, and all going well, we're hoping to shoot in February. 


Something a little more imminent though is a new script I wrote called "Colleagues". I've been interested for a long time in trying to make a really short, short film and last weekend I had a lightbulb moment and knocked out the script for Colleagues. It's only  a page and a half, which means a run time of something like 90 seconds, and because it is such a simple set up with one room and two actors I'm going to turn it around really quickly. I sorted the location, got the crew sorted (which was a piece of piss considering it consists of me and Arun Parmar my sound guy, check out his website by the way, especially of you are an unsigned band or singer/songwriter: www.recordings2go.co.uk) and it's been cast. Again a piece of piss as I went for 2 dudes that I know are great actors and great at working together Richie Nolan and Chris Jones, both of Little THings fame. 


Hopefully "Colleagues" will be wrapped by the middle of October so watch this space. 


What is probably the last thing for Little Things. My debut short has an IMDB page Little Things on IMDB. Which means I am on IMDB. Even if they do think I'm the same Mark Moynihan that edited 20 episodes of America's Most Wanted. 


Next update will be sooner I promise, but in the meantime please have a look at the new website and tell me what you think.


Mark out

Attention Screen-Writers

A title like that makes it sound like I have a unique and interesting opportunity. Well I could try and spin it that way, but it's not, it's me asking for a favour.


Here's the situation. My brother is normally the person I get constructive feedback from when I'm drafting a script. Problem is he's co-writing 'I Don't Bite' with me. That makes him just as useless at looking at the script objectively as I am. 


So here is the favour. I need a volunteer/volunteers to have a read of the script. Preferably from screenwriters. I'm not excluding anyone and I do value the opinion of the rest of you, but screenwriters know the kind of feedback I'm talking about. The sort about structure, ratio of dialogue to visuals, character and all that other stuff that goes beyond, "It's excellent/alright/a bit dull/bollocks". 


I know there are a couple of screenwriters who occasionally cast their eyes over this blog, so if you feel up to it please let me know and I'll furnish you with a copy of 'I Don't Bite' and I promise to return the favour should you require it. 


Don't forget Little Things is showing in the Dark Waters premier in Llangollen on the 19th of July, tickets available here and at Moviebar in Brighton on the 1st of August

Das Experiment

I had a theory. My theory was that despite the work and effort that I went to to bring Little Things to life that it could easily be outperformed by something really fucking stupid. So as an experiment, on the same day I put Little Things onto Vimeo, I put a minute long video, shot on my phone of our miniature daschund chasing the red dot from a laser pointer onto YouTube and waited to see what would get viewed the most.

4 months later, as of today, Little Things has and been played 151 times and my dumbass video of the dog has been viewed 12 times.

Never been so happy to be wrong

To celebrate I've put Little Things on YouTube as well, not as nice as the Vimeo version, but you can see it here


Oh alright! The dog video is here


Remember, Little Things is showing in the Dark Waters premier in Llangollen on the 19th of July, tickets available here and at Moviebar in Brighton on the 1st of August

Big Screen Little Things

So, would anyone like the opportunity to see Little Things on a screen other than a computer monitor and in the presence of an audience? Well you're in luck because you have two opportunities...


For those of you who live in or near North Wales, this is a really interesting one. Andrew Gale at Dogsdinner Productions and my newest facebook friend has made a film called Dark Waters and here is the teaser trailer...

Looks awesome don't it. Dark Waters has in its cast none other than Little Things' own Richie Nolan and is having its world premier at the Llangollen Fringe Festival on the 19th of July, and Andrew has been generous enough to include Little Things as part of the program. Not only that, but there will be a Q&A session with Andrew and the writer, Andrew Stevenson. So for a few quid you get to support North Wales indie films and get involved with a discussion with the writer and director, for the life of me I can't think why you wouldn't want to! So 19th of July, Llangollen, tickets are available here. Get your tickets booked now so that you won't be disappointed.


If however you life on the south coast and coming to North Wales to see Little Things with an audience is not really an option then fear not because Little Things will come to you. Christopher Regan  who writes the excellent Writer by Night blog runs a monthly even in Brighton showing off more indie film, and again has been generous enough to include Little Things in the August line-up. Moviebar runs on the first Monday of every month and will show Little Things on the 1st of August, with hopefully me getting there to defend myself chat about the film.


Can I also say, god bless the interweb, without which none of this would have been possible...


Next time I'll talk about my next project that Pete spoke about in his last post. Working title - I Don't Bite

Thoughts on co-writing

With Little Things finished and released online, the time has come to set our sights on the next Broc Glic project. I don't want to give anything away about the plot, but it's an idea Mark has been playing with for a while. He started working on a script a couple of weeks ago and approached me with a little experiment.


I was one of the first people to read the script for "Little Things" and gave Mark fairly extensive notes on it over a few months, which was the sum total of my involvement in the writing process. This time out, Mark suggested that he and I try co-writing. I was dubious to say the least, and thought the resulting argument would make him reconsider asking me to be his daughter's Godfather. In short I expected abject failure, but figured what the hell, it could be fun so Mark sent me his first draft.


It's turned out to be a really productive process. As I said before Mark and I discussed the script of "Little Things" extensively over a few months. Mark took a lot of my ideas on board, modified some and rejected others out of hand. This being said it was very much Mark's work that I helped with. This time when he mailed me I butchered the script. I completely rewrote the first scene, dropped the final one and redefined the main character entirely. I used ideas that Mark had already vetoed. My draft fixed some problems in Mark's script, created problems that hadn't existed before and highlighted problems that existed in both.


With both Mark and I both invested in the writing process we were able to debate about character motivation, style and probably most importantly, what was being achieved with each scene. Shorts are tough, you have very little time to play with so you have to be into the whole brevity thing. I didn't like Mark's final scene at all. I thought it was too long, had too much dialogue and introduced too many new characters. I removed it completely and integrated what I thought was necessary for the plot into the scene before (which had already been heavily rewritten). My ending didn't work at all, the tension peaked too quickly and necessary character exposition was lost. So the last scene in neither draft works, but looking at both it's clear what needs to be achieved in a rewrite. We had a brainstorming session yesterday and may have a solution.


Thus far the co-writing experiment has been a success.
More thoughts on this are very likely to follow.
Comments welcome folks.

and here it is...

Little Things is finally here for you to see. please comment and tell me what you think

Carpe Diem

Got an e-mail out of the blue from Will from Northwest Vision and Media, you may remember him from such previous e-mails as "it is not a piece of work that would stand up to an audience in the highly completive world of filmmaking and festivals". 


Subject - The Adjustment Bureau
Message - New Hollywood film – they nabbed your idea!


I replied with: 


Subject - RE: The Adjustment Bureau
Message - I think the only way I can claim that is if I say that my idea was nicked by Phillip K Dick. Maybe that isn't a bad idea, then I can say that Blade Runner was all my idea as well...


This little exchange cheered me up a little about Little Things. No he hasn't changed his mind about the quality of the film, but this is a guy who sees a lot a shorts and whatever it was, something stayed with him. Just a small thing but it put me in just a little better mood about the film.


With that in mind and with the difficulty in arranging a screening for cast and crew I've decided fuck it, Little Things has been under wraps long enough. I'm gonna release it for you all to view online on Vimeo on Friday. 


Watch this space...

Lies, Damned Lies and, Well, Shit That's Kinda True Actually....

Short post today. You may recall in the last post that I'd had a, shall we say, negative review, but one review is not a consensus. Two however is getting on for one. Three, well, you get the idea...


Okay, so I have now had the opinion of the professionals. 


The consensus is that as a first effort Little Things was quite the undertaking, that said, when stacked up against a more professional piece of work, it doesn't compare. Film festivals would not be an option. 


AND Ireland were beaten by France in the 6 Nations at the weekend!


Despite these seemingly negative events I am in a pretty good state of mind (apart from the rugby thing, I'm still pretty morose about that one). First of all, I have not had any illusions shattered. I am acutely of all of Little Things' flaws. I did fuck all but look at footage from it for months! I have seen every single flaw, from every single angle. I didn't need feedback to tell me that Little Things was awesome. I just needed perspective. 


So now I have perspective. Little Things is and always will be something I am immensely proud of. Whatever I do film-wise from this point on would not have been possible without Little Things. And yes, it's dialogue heavy, visually a bit static and low in production value, but fuck it, so was Clerks and Kevin Smith's done alright for himself. 


So what is next for Little Things. Well first up I'm hoping to get a viewing together for cast, crew, friends, well wishers etc. After that, it'll go online and you all will get the chance to give me your thoughts. Then its on to the next project. I've got two short scripts in the works, horror mockumentary and surreal dream, one or both of which I want to get done in 2011. And done better. 


On a final note and keeping with the title of this post. I have checked out my stats from Google and I'm getting hits on this site from Ireland and the UK as I would expect, but also, Sweden, New Zealand, Slovenia, Poland, South Korea and Germany, a huge amount of page views from the USA and bizarrely a huge amount of page views in Russia. I can only conclude one of three things...

1. Word of the bollocks that I talk has transcended language and spread across the globe
2. People from my past have ended up in far flung locations
3. My surname 'Moynihan' is coincidentally the Russian for 'Blow-job'

Each of these possibilities are equally cool so if you happen to be reading this please leave a comment telling me who you are, where you are and what brings you to my blog.

I wait with baited breath.

Ouch!

Below is the correspondance between myself and Will Messa from Northwest Vision and Media, I think it speaks for itself:


Hi Will

I don't know if you remember giving me some script notes about 18 months ago for my script Little Things...

Suffice to say I took them on board and then went and made it. Post production on Little Things is nearly at an end and I'm now at the point of thinking about what to do with it. The ideal scenario would be to enter it into a couple of festivals in order to get it seen by more people, but I could do with some neutral eyes on it to give me some notes before I can really consider it. I'd really appreciate it if you could have a quick look at the film and give me some feedback. If festivals are a pipe dream then tell me so an save me the entrance fees, if it's something that I should go for, then what festivals are most suitable (and forgiving) to film makers as green as I am.

The film is on Vimeo, but not publicly released yet,

Many thanks

Mark

                                      

Dear Mark,

Hello – many thanks for sending me this. I’m afraid I am completely snowed under at the moment so don’t have time to give detailed feedback.

However, it is my professional opinion that this film won’t get into many film festivals. I think you should treat this film as a learning experience and move forward and make another film, and then another. This is how it works. It is very early days in your filmmaking career and whilst I sincerely congratulate you 100% for having made it, it is not a piece of work that would stand up to an audience in the highly completive world of filmmaking and festivals.  I think it is worth being honest here I really do. Take everything you have learned making Little Things and plough it into your next project and so on.

Festivals that would play this are likely to be local/rural so I would start there I wouldn’t recommend spending any money on entrance fees.

Withoutabox - https://www.withoutabox.com/ is a useful resource for finding festivals. Also, Britfilms and read the excellent Scottish Screen booklet looking at life for your short film after post-production. 

If the tone of my email comes across as harsh it really isn’t meant to be – it is hard to be honest and objective in a very short space of time. Please call me on XXXXXXXXXXX if you want to have a chat about it.

Best,

Will

                                       

I'd be lying if I was to tell you that that didn't sting a little.

So where to go from here...

Well first up I'm grateful to Will for his feedback and to be honest the main purpose of making Little Things was, as he said a learning experience. If I was to do it again today there are a lot of things I would do completely differently. 

Second thing I'm gonna do, is not take his notes as the be all and end all. Don't get me wrong I completely respect Will's opinion, but it is just that, an opinion. There are one or two other industry professionals I've asked to look at this, who's to say if Will's opinion is the consensus. He didn't particularly like the script to begin with whereas others did.

And if it is the consensus opinion, well fuck it, then perhaps it'll be time for you lot to have a look and tell me what you think. At the end of the day, I didn't do this for anyone except myself and the people who made it with me. 

Next one will be better.

If anyone needs me I'll be sitting in a darkened room listening to The Cure. 

The Soundtrack

Ironically a post about music comes along as my stepdaughter is glued to Glee in the other room. That's not the reason I'm writing this. I'm writing this because part of the score has come through from I Phoenix, and it's fucking awesome.


When I wrote the script for Little Things I wrote two scenes that are entirely visual and were backed by music. In the script the tracks I chose were by Elbow and Radiohead. I have on numerous occasions mentioned that this film has no budget. Published music is not only expensive to procure the rights for but nigh on impossible to find the person who has the rights. So I needed some tunes that I could use instead. So I started to look for an alternative. 


Way back in August you may recall that I mentioned that the music for Little Things was being provided by a great band called The Crow Hearts. My "Sound" guy Arun Parmar doesn't do movie sound as his main thing. Arun is a sound engineer who's primary area of expertise is recording music. The Crow Hearts are a band that Arun recorded. I know a couple of the guys through him and I love their tunes so I asked if I could use their tracks and they were kind enough to agree. 


But it wasn't sitting right... 


I tried cutting their tracks into the rough cuts a couple of times, but they weren't quite working. Nothing wrong with the tracks, quite the opposite. they're great tunes, I have them on my ipod and play them all the time, I love them. Just not in Little Things. 


Enter my brother, Peter. More specifically enter, my brothers mates who are in an Irish band; I Phoenix. Irish as in from Ireland, not as in diddley-aye-no-nay-never-paddy-fuckin-whackery Based on the conversation he had with them they could compose music in the style of my choosing to suit the scenes. Got to be honest, I was sceptical. Style of my choosing? Seriously? Okay we'll see.


I sent the guys a cut of Little Things before Christmas. Delays were caused by Arctic weather conditions back in Ireland and Kevin's gastroenteritis. (I've had gastroenteritis, the worst thing I remember is the horrific realisation that I was likely to survive) but finally the tracks came through today. Fuck me they're good. But they're not only good, they're right. 


I cut the tracks into the film and I am so happy with the results, I am a hair's breadth away from Little Things being totally finished. Just need people to see it now.


Please check out I Phoenix's free download at http://iphoenix.bandcamp.com but don't expect it to be what the music in Little Things sounds like, because the guys wrote music in the style that I requested. Oh me of little faith.

Plodding Along

Not much to report but here goes.

Still waiting for the score so that the film can be finally finished, t hen hopefully some of you can get to see it

 Looking into getting the film classified by the BBFC so that I can exhibit it publicly. Probably gonna cost about 200 quid.

Looking into a public exhibition of the film in an actual cinema, early days but watch this space.

Can't wait for you all to see it

Mark out

On Eastenders...

As Little Things comes close to conclusion this blog over the coming months will probably begin to evolve into a more general blog about my writing and film making. What follows is the first post of this nature and a crossover with my other blog. 

This is a bit of a weird post for me for a couple of reasons, first of all because this is the first (and likely to be only time) that I put the same post on both my blogs. The second reason that this is weird is that this is that generally I’m not the “Points of View”, Mail reading whinge-bag who moans about the BBC, I’m not that dude. But I for the probably the first time in my life feel compelled to add my two cents to the Eastenders cot-death/baby swap debate. Okay the reason I’m commenting on this is the same reason I am writing this on both blogs. First up, those of you who read “Living Without Emma” may not know, I am an amateur scriptwriter and film-maker. For those of you who read the “Little Things Movie” blog, my daughter Emma died from a rare heart condition when she was just two day old and it’s as a writer and as a father I feel like I want to comment.

First up I just need to say I don’t watch Eastenders, and I missed the whole media kerfuffle about this story. I just turned on the TV a couple of nights ago and saw the ongoing elements to the story. The five minutes I saw pissed me off but I thought I’d look into it before passing judgment. Right, I’ve looked into it and I’m gonna pass serious judgement.

For those of you that don’t watch or don’t know what the hell Eastenders is, the offending story goes like this. Two women called Ronnie and Kat give birth to boys on the same day. A week later, Ronnie’s baby dies. Due to some ridiculous set of circumstances Ronnie, swaps her dead baby for Kat’s live baby. So now Kat thinks her child has died and Ronnie has a baby that isn’t hers.

Okay, there are two main reasons why this is horseshit. Firstly and most obviously I can categorically tell you that any parent whose child dies has no interest whatsoever in a replacement child. They want THEIR child, the idea that the notion of taking another baby would enter the head of a bereaved parent is utter bollocks.

Secondly, Emma was with us less than two hours before she was taken to the Special Care Baby Unit. In that time she was so firmly imprinted on my mind that I could pick her out from a room full of dozens of babies even after she died. To portray parents who’ve had their baby home for a week as being unable to tell that the baby was theirs is ludicrous. You don’t have to be the parent of a dead child to know that, just a parent.

In the interest in symmetry there are two things about this storyline that piss me off. One is because I’m Emma’s father and Rach’s husband, the other is because I’m a writer.

As a father to a child who’s died, I’m pretty thick skinned. Yes certain films and things resonate with me and can upset me, “Wires” by Athlete and the opening montage of “Up” nearly bring me to tears every time, but I don’t get offended by stuff, I watched Lars Von Trier’s “Antichrist” and didn’t get offended for God’s sake. But Eastenders pissed me off and this is why. When you’re child dies people avoid you like the bloody plague, they look at you like you’ve got ten heads, and don’t have a clue what to say or do around you. That’s not everyone, but it is a lot of people. Neonatal death is not something often covered in the media and for a lot of people soaps are the only way that they are aware of issues, so to portray a mother of child who dies as a baby snatching lunatic, how the hell is that responsible? Yes you may say that people know that it’s not real, but people are not always that smart. I’ve heard so many instances of actors who play villains on soaps getting accosted and attacked by people who can’t separate them from their characters. Thanks Eastenders, you have made things potentially more difficult for people who are going through hell.

The other reason I’m pissed off is because I’m a writer. Little Things is partially about someone with a magical ability to alter the course of destiny. That doesn’t really happen, therefore when including this in the story I can do whatever the hell I like. Babies really die, so do you’re goddamn research. Yes, I know it’s a soap, yes, I know it’s for dramatic effect, but this is something that really effects people. A hell of a lot of people. With viewing figures in and around 10 million it’s probably going to effect some of the people who actually watch your crap. Sticking websites and helpline numbers on the credits does not mitigate any of this. Do your research you fucking hack!

Angry Mark Out.

Memoirs of a Leading Man

Happy New Year to you all. For the first blog post of 2011 I have a real treat for you all. My guest blogger is none other that Mr. Chris Jones, the lead actor in Little Things. 


Two things that you should know about Chris. Firstly he's a seriously good dude. Patient, funny and up for doing anything to make sure Little Things turned out as well as it could. What you will eventually see as the intro to the movie was a montage shot on a work day evening 4 days after the main shoot that I dropped on him last minute. Anyone else would have been feckin' livid with me for that one, not Chris, not only did he take it in his stride but he delivered a fantastic performance. Which leads me to the second thing you should know about him. Chris is an awesome actor. As the lead, Chris ended up getting the brunt of my "directing". What he delivered was the tentpole performance in the film, subtle but really enjoyable to watch. Leonard was a character that I came up with over a year before I met Chris, but when I occasionally look at the script now and see Leonard's words, it's Chris's voice I hear and his face I see. I couldn't imagine any one else playing Leonard. For that dude, I thank you.


Today is Chris's birthday (I knew that from Facebook, not from being a sensitive soul who remembers that stuff) so Happy B'day dude.


Mark




Well, this post may be “slightly” late, but now that pantomime is almost out of the way (oh yes it is, praise the Lord!) I can finally knuckle down and write my contribution to the infamous blog.


Having been involved in local theatre for many years, I was walking past the notice board one day when I spied a piece of paper upon which were the words ‘Actors wanted’. “Good luck with that” I thought and went about my business. It wasn’t until I ran out of gaffer tape one day that I stood awhile at that noticeboard, opening a new box of twenty-four rolls. Only this time, it grabbed my attention. “Why not? ... Find out more ... and see if Lisa would be interested as well.”


So I did find out more, obviously, or it would be a bit strange my typing this out now...


So, after a single call to Mark to have a quick look over the script and try to impress him with my vast array of previous films under my belt (ok, no films, and even no belt!), we met, like any other dodgy-looking dealers in a shadowy corner of Wetherspoons in Wrexham. We chatted – Lisa, Mark and myself – for a good while about his “vision” for the project and his reasons for finally wanting to see this ambitious undertaking through to fruition.


For his first short film, the first thing that struck me was that he had already got quite a long way down the road. He had spent obscene amounts of money on purchasing camera equipment and starting to pay legal and other red-tape fees. But he had also quite clearly spent a long time fine-tuning the script; getting opinions from various people and professional film buff type groups and organisations. So now he has this well-rounded and interesting short story that he’s had in his head for months, rigorously planned, meticulously written, scrupulously storyboarded. Which terrifies me. A lot. Maybe I should politely leave. But, he’s such a genuinely nice guy, and explains that he doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing (in hindsight, he did definitely know – or so it seems!), so that we’d all be in it together. So after a partially semi-decent reading of the characters Leonard and Lisa (you have to guess which way round we auditioned), we were in (I’m sure I could hear noises. It could have been the traffic outside, it could have been the scraping of the bottom of a barrel, I’m not sure... but we were in). Richie  had already been cast as Weaver at this point, and we knew him from previous theatrical performances.


I had been in the “Flint Street Nativity” before my writing and appearing in panto took place, so “rehearsals” took the form of a couple of meetings (in front of camera unfortunately – and please Mark – never let that footage get out – not even on the DVD extras!)


It was at this point that I realised that I was shit. Awful. Years of “playing to the back row” had not prepared me for pretending to be a normal, everyday individual. I had only played Princes, hostages, and comedy idiots with a tiny bit of Shakespeare and pantomime thrown in, so I’m surprised Mark didn’t abandon the whole thing right then and there. Lisa, for some reason, seemed to take to “telly acting” very well, which frustrated me, as I was really having to try hard to look like I wasn’t trying hard. Anyway, I learnt my words like a good boy (ish) and we were then kindly invited to a cast/crew meal at the Maison de Moynihan. Which is where we met, as well as Mark again, Peter and Rachel. Well, if I was going to be axed, at least I had had a very lovely meal (with starter and dessert included, making it a bit posh!) with a very lovely and sincere group of people. I couldn’t help think that perhaps the involvement they had with the film, that they would be better qualified to do these characters themselves... Anyway, as luck would have it, they stuck with us...!


And so came the day of the “shoot” (like I go to them all the time!) It was early. Very early. It was Mold, and it was cold. Bitterly. For the time of year anyway. The park location was a good choice. Relatively remote (for a town centre), but a bit nippy, and as we would discover later, annoyingly contrasted with too much light and shade around the chosen bench!


So after a cup of tea and with the camera rolling and the boom held high, the clapperboard signalled the start of the first shot. The order of the day was something of a blur, with many things being done many times from many angles. Which was kind of fun. Though my constant mental repeating of “less is more” meant that a large number of my takes were shockingly unusable shite. (I can still hear Mark’s words reverberating round my head!)


It’s now that I realise I should have written this blog post a lot sooner as most of my thoughts from the day are long gone! Of course, it could also be that it’s my birthday today and I’m stuck in the office with a load of cakes and Krispy Kreme doughnuts (not worth the money) that I brought in are sat right behind me, distracting me, calling me... excuse me a moment...


OK, now think back. (In case you were wondering, I opted this time for the simple Egg Custard). I seem to remember racing against the shadows to get all of the shots that Mark wanted. The whole thing was a most enjoyable and yet educational experience. I’ve always been more interested in the film-making process more than the films themselves, always finding the DVD extras and accompanying websites about technical details and all the right jargon far more engaging than the story all of these people were trying so hard to portray! So to be in amongst it, even at this “independent short film” level was exciting and memorable (though, as I say, the exact order of events has been removed from my ever-dwindling memory). We wrapped when we’d run out of light and feeling absolutely knackered, we all went our separate
ways (possibly to a panto rehearsal in my case, I can’t  remember!)


The next day had another early start, at the pub in Mold. I’m not a morning person. Enough said. However, after eventually finding our way inside and after the setup, I think I actually resembled something vaguely human, so we rolled on the “meeting at the bar” scene with Lisa and myself. Again, Lisa had no problems. But could I get my hands to go where I wanted them? Could I remember my sodding lines? Could I do anything that even a chimp could do better than me right now?! No. After about a zillion and seven
takes, we had it in the can. More or less. Just needed the pickup shots from yesterday when the continuity of the light (and some shocking performances or ad-libbing had cost Mark a decent take!) forced us to re-shoot in the park. Luckily this time, we knew what we were doing, more or less, and after a poorly-sick Richie managed to get to the park, we finished on schedule, just
about!


Richie had done much more film work and is a proper actor and everything. I had to “get a proper job” after leaving uni, so all I had to draw on was my years of playing the fool in a small theatre in Wrexham. I have to say though, that it was a joy to play against him. I think I was able to emulate, at least partially, some of the more natural screen-acting that he had mastered long before me! So thanks for that! He’s also just a nice guy, and we had a good laugh over the few days we were filming.


And that was that. Apart from a brief look at some of the raw footage (rushes? Dailies?! I don’t know!) back at Broc Glic Manor (spelling?) – in which I remembered that I hate watching myself (I don’t mind hearing myself back as I used to do a bit of radio with BBC Wales and spent hours listening to my own voice in editing, and I presented a few shows for Calon FM – the community radio station in Wrexham – not forgetting my one line in a Radio 4 drama!) – but watching my abysmal “performance” made me feel slightly sick. As Michael McIntyre often points out, I notice that when in direct sunlight, I also look a bit like a Chinese man. And not a particularly good-looking one, so close-ups of that nature made me question why I had got involved in the film in the first place. I didn’t want Mark’s “baby” to be ruined by my appalling contribution. However, with some encouraging words, I felt some slight relief. And that’s where I left it.


I have been following the blog, and watched the outtake reel (damn it man! )... but I look forward to seeing the final edit after all the post-production and scoring have taken place. Maybe then I will feel better about me being in it! And after this blog, I believe Mark and I now have an unwritten but binding agreement that I may now see it!


My sincere thanks to Mark and everyone else involved. It truly was an unforgettable experience and I am proud and humbled to be a small part of it. I hope it turns out the way he imagined it would, and I am pleased to consider the whole gang, especially the Moynihans, as some new and good friends.


I remember from school that I always wrote about five or six concluding paragraphs saying the same thing as I have difficulty ending things! So I won’t make that mistake here.


Or will I?! I often like to end with a penultimate final paragraph and then a final one.


So this is the final one. Do I re-read this or do I now get on with some work whilst having a doughnut?! The latter – so I apologise for any hitherto typos, errors and omissions...


Done. Now this is the final paragraph... God, I need to get out more! On behalf of Lisa and myself – a final thank you!