Awesome! I really enjoyed it. If I was being critical I'd say that the sound maybe needed a little work as some of the lines got a bit lost sometimes. Also in terms of the editing I think some of the cuts were a little jarring and could've been smoother. I think the actors were on the whole really great and definitely suited the roles, but there were a couple of moments that fell a little flat and maybe needed another take (although I also know full well that sometimes you can't use the best take for a variety of reasons!). I think it's those technical things that maybe make it seem a little less polished than some other shorts.
But it has also something a lot of shorts don't have, and that's an interesting story with a really great script that is really complimented by your visual style. I thought some of the shots in the park were fantastic and you used the location really well. But mostly I just loved how the story developed - and I don't just mean the script necessarily, I think this is a case where the fact that the story works is a result of all the elements working well together. Despite reading this blog I never had any real idea of what the story was and had assumed that with two locations and three actors it would be a small-scale character-based drama. But although it starts out like that it soon develops into something bigger and the ending came as a genuine (and heart-warming) surprise to me. The points you chose to cut between the two scenes really helped with this too, as the relationship between the scenes grows at a good pace throughout the film. By the halfway point I really wanted to know what was going on and you do a good job of setting up a compelling mystery.
Well done, it was great to finally see it and it's also really encouraging for me to see someone else reach the finish line with their short. Hope you get some good feedback, and good luck with the next one!
Chris
P.s. I'd still like to show it at MovieBar sometime - just let me know when is good for you.
Also, what my husband said (I was watching it while he posted his comment, evidently) about the story, script and visuals working together. He's better at this than me, that's why he's the writer.
When you see how much crap is on TV and made in Hollywood these days and we often sit and watch for the sake of watching. Then something like this comes along and it is such a refreshing change. I found myself drawn in to the story and the characters and 10 mins past so fast I was left wishing that it was much longer and I had a real need to know what happens next!!? This is a great short story and think it really deserves to be seen by more people. Mark I hope you get the credit this film deserves, well done and hope the next is not too long in the making.
Awesome! I really enjoyed it. If I was being critical I'd say that the sound maybe needed a little work as some of the lines got a bit lost sometimes. Also in terms of the editing I think some of the cuts were a little jarring and could've been smoother. I think the actors were on the whole really great and definitely suited the roles, but there were a couple of moments that fell a little flat and maybe needed another take (although I also know full well that sometimes you can't use the best take for a variety of reasons!). I think it's those technical things that maybe make it seem a little less polished than some other shorts.
ReplyDeleteBut it has also something a lot of shorts don't have, and that's an interesting story with a really great script that is really complimented by your visual style. I thought some of the shots in the park were fantastic and you used the location really well. But mostly I just loved how the story developed - and I don't just mean the script necessarily, I think this is a case where the fact that the story works is a result of all the elements working well together. Despite reading this blog I never had any real idea of what the story was and had assumed that with two locations and three actors it would be a small-scale character-based drama. But although it starts out like that it soon develops into something bigger and the ending came as a genuine (and heart-warming) surprise to me. The points you chose to cut between the two scenes really helped with this too, as the relationship between the scenes grows at a good pace throughout the film. By the halfway point I really wanted to know what was going on and you do a good job of setting up a compelling mystery.
Well done, it was great to finally see it and it's also really encouraging for me to see someone else reach the finish line with their short. Hope you get some good feedback, and good luck with the next one!
Chris
P.s. I'd still like to show it at MovieBar sometime - just let me know when is good for you.
I really liked it! Such a cute little idea and neatly executed; fab storytelling for a short piece.
ReplyDeleteParticular likes - the time-lapse bits (I'm there's a technical term), the soundtrack, the way the sun glints off the cars in the final shot.
Well done to everyone involved!
*oops* - I'm SURE there's a technical term...
ReplyDeleteAlso, what my husband said (I was watching it while he posted his comment, evidently) about the story, script and visuals working together. He's better at this than me, that's why he's the writer.
When you see how much crap is on TV and made in Hollywood these days and we often sit and watch for the sake of watching. Then something like this comes along and it is such a refreshing change.
ReplyDeleteI found myself drawn in to the story and the characters and 10 mins past so fast I was left wishing that it was much longer and I had a real need to know what happens next!!?
This is a great short story and think it really deserves to be seen by more people.
Mark I hope you get the credit this film deserves, well done and hope the next is not too long in the making.